Put up and Shut up!

There has been quite a lot of press coverage on menopause lately and in my opinion its a been a long time coming.. Recently, I was reading comments from a post which "popped" up on my FB "suggested for you" feed where the remarks regarding menopause were quite shocking! Particularly from other women. One comment which came up time and time again was "my mother and grandmother put up with it and carried on regardless and had none of this nonsense going on" (referring to the media coverage). I was a bit bemused by this, purely for the fact that the whole reason women "put up" with the symptoms etc. was the fact we may have been ignored, mocked and ridiculed (humiliated in some circumstances), we may have felt fear that something was wrong with us and didn't want the embarrassment of telling people. We felt isolated and therefore went through it on our own due to the lack of information available and media coverage. Husbands did not know what to do or say, some wanted to remain ignorant because that's "how it was back then." Women felt unsupported. All the above and more, is the reason why women "put up" with it. The other most important reason we must be aware of is that the age range of a woman's menopause is significantly longer than it was back in the 1900's simply because we are living much longer.

Physical symptoms can include: Joint pain (almost arthritic) Muscle pain UTI's (urinary tract infection) Vaginal dryness Skin crawling (like ants on your skin) Heavy or light periods Skin / hair changes Heart palpitations Psychological symptoms: Anxiety Panic attacks, Feeling emotional Mood swings Low self esteem No longer recognising who you are due to the changes. I'd even put grief in this list too!

Other symptoms: Poor memory (incl. brain fog) Tiredness Hot flushes No libido Night sweats Easily distracted/poor concentration. The menopause is a natural cycle yet can be a long painful process which extends beyond the physical symptoms (and they can be bad enough!) It can also extend into a woman's sixties and sometimes much later than that. It affects mental health, causes stress (through embarrassment, mental fog, depression, irritability, anger, sadness, grief, body changes, fear of being seriously ill and much more.) It isn't just a woman who is affected, it's their partner, families, friends (women may withdraw or retreat from social life). Work life can be affected. We have to take in the whole picture of how it affects a woman and then consider the ripple effects out into their environment. I don't believe everything should be kept behind closed doors, for people to suffer in silence. We are supposed to be moving forward not going backwards. Not everyone can cope and see themselves through these life changes on their own. Remember ladies, you are always gorgeous, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You have the right to speak up and receive support. If your mother or another female tells you to "put up and shut up" (I hope not) but if they do, educate them with the information you now have access to, like your grandmother and great grandmother (before you) would have very much appreciated for themselves. It's your choice how to proceed, you have options. Whatever you do, don't go through it alone if you are not coping. Dr Louise Newson is a menopause expert and leading the way in educating GPs etc. in recognising and supporting women through this inevitable life change. Her research and advice can be found here: https://www.balance-menopause.com/dr-louise-newson/